I love you, Sen. Chuck Grassley:
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) suggested Tuesday that the prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal represented a grave danger to national security because they could have been planted by another country like Russia.
“We’re looking at something that is very, very serious when national security might not be protected properly,” Grassley told Radio Iowa on Tuesday. “Who knows who might be using prostitutes? The Russians are famous for that to get information out of us. You want to know that the president is protected.”
I was pretty sure that the big danger in Colombia was that everyone was from Al Qaeda. Or was that Peru? I forget, I can never keep track of which Central and South American countries pose existential threats for which reasons. I guess Colombia is now the place where Russian spy-hookers hang out. Or maybe the whole damn world is populated with Russian spy-hookers, all pretending to be local prostitutes on the off chance that one day the president of the United States will visit their town and an extremely stupid advance security team will decide to go prostitute-shopping, thus providing the crack team of Russian spy-hookers with access to American secrets such as “how much will extremely stupid advance security team members pay for prostitutes” and “if you are hired as a prostitute by an extremely stupid advance security team member, are you allowed to help yourself to items from the hotel’s mini-fridge.”
I don’t know. I don’t care. It has been far too long since Congress got to play around with a sex scandal that didn’t directly involve one of their own members, and the prospect has all of Washington giddy. I’m sure crack investigator (and investigative crack) Rep. Darrell Issa will get to the bottom of Possibly Secretly Communist Hookergate, during one of his many interminable sessions on How Barack Obama Can Be Blamed For Something Today, and then we’ll know.