Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.
This morning I gave my planned speech to the NAACP. It turns out that the NAACP is not, in fact, the National Association for the Advancement of Corporate People; I had not read the name correctly. Fortunately we were able to reuse nearly all of my standard speech material anyway, so my confusion did not cause the campaign any immediate harm. My staff reminded me again to be very, very careful not to stray from the remarks we had prepared on the TelePrompter, but to read it exactly as written. I think they were quite pleased with the results. End of statement!
This was the first opportunity I had to try out the advice I received during my Hamptons fundraising. As you may recall, Mr. Diary, the wealth units there were very concerned that the commoner class did not understand how electing me would be in their best interests. I made a point during this speech, therefore, to tell the commoners directly that if they only knew me better, they would clearly understand that electing me is in their best interests. Hopefully that problem is now cleared up.
The applause at this event was considerably more subdued than during many of my speeches. I asked Eric F. about it, but he was unconcerned, suggesting that the actual audience opinion was completely irrelevant so long as the event was televised. I am not sure I understand, but there you are. In hindsight, however, I wish I had known earlier that the speech was going to be given not to an association for Corporate People, but for Colored People. I could probably have added many anecdotes to my speech, possibly involving sport. And I have a wonderful story to tell about the time I did not let the dog out, which as I understand it seems to be one of the overriding domestic policy concerns of colored Americans.
Source: Daily Kos