Of course you already know that Todd Akin sucks, but did you know that he’s a real Renaissance man when it comes to sucking? He doesn’t just suck in one way. Oh no. He sucks in so many ways that the world’s finest mathematicians are hard at work inventing the new math needed to calculate all the many ways Akin sucks.
But Akin’s capacity for sucking is basically unlimited. He sucks at voting, at understanding laws, at explaining his positions—why, his suckiness is like an order of bottomless fries you can get at chain restaurants cited, but never actually visited, by David Brooks in order to opine on what regular Americans think.
Let’s review Akin’s latest ode to sucking: an interview with the Springfield News-Leader editorial board on Monday in which he explained his vote against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act:
“I don’t have any problem with fair pay at all, I think that’s a good idea,” Akin said in the meeting. “I have a healthy skepticism with big government getting in and trying to tell us everything we do in our lives. [...]
“I think if you want to talk about how much somebody is paid, that should be a discussion between the employee and the employer,” he said. “We call it freedom. And for the government to stick its nose in and tell you how much you should pay somebody, I think it’s just wrong. I think it’s taking our freedom away.”
See? He likes equal pay just fine, but it really should be left up to employers to decide whether they like equal pay too, because that’s what we call freedom. And people who love freedom, like Akin clearly does, certainly don’t want the government sticking its nose in other people’s business and making totally unreasonable demands like “Hey, you have to pay that woman the same as you’re paying that man to do the exact same job,” because that’s just the government taking away the freedom of employers to not pay that woman the same as they pay that man because that’s what we call freedom.
And for those of you haters who are a tad appalled that the guy who wants government to mind its own beeswax also wants government to get all up in your lady parts, pick you jaw up off the floor, because that is a totally different thing. We can’t very well have the government not sticking its nose in your lady business and trying to tell us everything we do in our lives because if women make their own decisions, it takes away the freedom from men like Akin to tell women what decisions the government will make for them. See, that’s also what we call freedom.
Do you get it? No? Neither does Akin. Because he also sucks at getting it. Renaissance man, I tell you.
You know what also sucks? That men like Akin think that steaming pile of manure makes any sense at all, and they actually get to vote on how and when the government can or cannot stick its nose in your business because that’s what we call freedom.
That’s why it’s time to send more, better women to Congress to get rid of the Akins and all the other Republicans who love to talk about freedom but really have no idea what it means.
Source: Daily Kos